#28: Three Pizzas

With her jogging partner running on four hours sleep, Whitley enjoyed a relatively quiet morning jog for a change. Alicia still had plenty to say, but with longer-than-normal pauses between thoughts. As they arrived home Alicia sped through an abridged version of her cool-down routine before trotting up the stairs and collapsing into bed. Whitley, in the meantime, sat on the porch and puffed on a joint before preparing her lazy-Sunday breakfast: a half-box of Frosted Mini-Wheats in a large mixing bowl, four boiled eggs, and a cup of coffee. Bowl(s) in hand, she settled into her plush corner chair in the living room and queued up Animaniacs on Netflix.

Around 11:00am a bathrobe-clad Krysta made her way downstairs, heading straight into the kitchen and tossing her laptop to the couch on her way. After her daybreak webcam show, she'd also returned to bed for several hours and had still yet to remove her heavier-than-usual makeup. She emerged from the kitchen with smoked salmon, a bagel, and a cup of black tea, and settled in on the couch. Whitley, who had finished the rest of her eggs, packed and sparked another bowl.

"I don't think I've ever seen you on this side of 9:00am, K-Cup. How was your Southeast Asian titty party?"

Krysta raised an eyebrow. "K-Cup? Really?"

"I'm trying something new. It's your stage name, after all."

"Whatever, have your fun. Anyways, I crushed it today. Fantastic numbers and solid tips. Asia is always my big earner. I changed up my outfit based on some demographic research and posted some preview pics on Instagram over the past couple days to foster interest. I think I even got some of my stateside fans up early to tune in as well."

Krysta opened her laptop, blew a lock of hair out of her face and adjusted her glasses. Logging her latest figures, she pumped her fist in celebration before noticing Whitley staring at her.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just sometimes forget that underneath the makeup and glorious rack you're a huge nerd."

Krysta sneered at Whitley and returned to her spreadsheets. "I take my work seriously. Some days it is the only way I can deal with it."

"I haven't done any webcam work, but from the little I know of modeling, I don't get how you stand it."

Krysta stopped typing. "Are you saying you have modeled before?"

Whitley sighed and brought up a picture on her phone passing it to Krysta. "Unofficially and unfortunately."

Krysta studied the image, nodding with approval. "It seems pretty official to me. It is a good picture of you."

"How can you possibly think so?"

"Your posture is good, the makeup is tasteful, and it is a strong, flattering pose. Beautiful, actually."

"All I see is conspicuously bare feet and fat ankles."

Krysta sighed. "Ankles. It is always the ankles." She pinch-zoomed in, scrutinizing Whitley's face and skin. "Wow, not much post-production here either. Your skin is flawless. To be honest, Seven-foots, I am surprised this image exists in the first place. I would not have pegged you for the modeling type... at least, not after I met you."

Whitley let a cloud of smoke pour from her mouth and nose. "Aw, come on. 'Seven-foots'?"

"I am trying something new."

"Fair enough. Anyways, it's from a series of shots taken for Durrenburg Athletics' annual fall sports pamphlet. They brought all their stars in for a pre-season photo shoot. It was kind of like the Sports Illustrated Body Issue except without the nudity and glaring gender double-standard."

"I will take your word on that."

"I stood there, they told me what to do, what to wear, and how to stand. Then I did it. I thought the picture was okay, but in the end, I decided I didn't need yet another image of me leaked to the internet. They were surprisingly understanding, and they still let me keep my photos."

"What I am hearing is it sounds like someone has a good inaugural Instagram post on their hands." Krysta grinned at a scowling Whitley, before looking down at her computer screen. "Speaking of which, Alicia is awake. She will probably be down soon."

"How do you know?"

Krysta turned her laptop towards Whitley, displaying a selfie of Alicia sprawled out in her sheets with wild bed-hair. "Instagram."

Sure enough, they heard Alicia's door open upstairs, followed by her descending the steps wearing mini-shorts and an Evangelion mini-tee shredded into a tank top. She stretched her thick arms upwards, and her back popped as she emitted a shrieking yawn. Krysta held Whitley's phone to Alicia as she passed by.

"Check out Amazon Naomi Campbell."

Alicia squeed and snatched the phone away. "Ssssssmoulder! Look at you!"

Whitley slapped a palm to her forehead. "Dammit, K-Cup..."

"Will you pleeeese send me a copy of this?" Alicia begged.

"Absolutely not. Can I have that back, please?" Whitley gestured for her phone and Alicia grudgingly handed it over.

"Oh man, what I wouldn't give to see you in Legend of Korra cosplay. You'd be a con phenomenon! Best part is everyone would be able to see it...ya' know, 'cuz you're really tall."

Whitley shot Alicia the evil eye and slouched further into the chair, letting her long legs straddle the coffee table on either side. She drew on her pipe and exhaled another plume of smoke. "I'm hungry. When is that pizza gonna' get here?"

"You ordered pizza?" Krysta asked.

"I ordered three pizzas."

"You ate half a box of Frosted Mini-Wheats and a bunch of eggs not even two hours ago. Are you truly that stoned?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you eat the leftover pizza in the freezer?" Alicia's suggestion drew confused looks from her roommates. "It's been in there since our party Whitley's first night here I'm surprised you haven't eaten it already."

"We ordered pizza?" Krysta asked.

"You ordered three pizzas."

Whitley frowned. "That doesn't sound right."

"It's true. Like, half of it is still in that big Tupperware container under the Costco bag of chicken breasts."

"Exactly. If I was wasted enough to order pizzas and not remember doing so, I was definitely wasted enough to have eaten all three of them."

Alicia unleashed a flurry of gesticulation. "Omigod, that's exactly what you said! After you freaked out the pizza guy when you answered the door, you took the pizzas and were like—"

"I'm bouts' to eat all three of these, so you girls better dig in fast!" Krysta and Whitley recalled in unison.

"And you totally would have, but then you—" Alicia's phone rang, and she read the screen. Her expression melted from giddy to perturbed, and she excused herself to the dining room to take the call.

"Hey, you, what's... Another one?... Tonight? No, I was going to... NO WAY! I'll be right over!"

"What's the sitch?" Whitley asked Alicia as she stepped back into the room. Alicia appeared caught off guard by the question, despite her conversation having been loud enough for anyone for anyone in the living room to hear.

"I... there's a... um... anime club event on campus and I need to go. Some old members are going to be there."

"On Sunday?"

Alicia winced at Whitley's inquiry, retreating backward towards the stairs. "Yeah, it's at the college in, like, fifteen minutes. I gotta go get my stuff ready." She turned and bounded up the stairs.

Krysta laid back on the couch and tugged her robe shut. "That was almost painful to watch. Never in my life have I met someone so terrible at lying."

"I imagine it would be difficult for a girl used to saying whatever pops into her head at all times." The sound of a dated automobile outside grabbed Whitley's attention, and she peeked through the blinds and saw their pizza deliveryman making his way up the walkway. "Pizza's here. You want to answer the door, or should I?"

Krysta dug through her purse. "You. I will cover the tip if you save me a few slices for dinner."

"Deal." Whitley pulled herself out of her favorite chair and had her hand on the doorknob when Alicia barreled down the stairs with her computer bag tucked under her arm. Reaching the bottom, Alicia yanked open the door and bowled into and over their deliveryman like a pro linebacker. She shouted an apology but had already broken into a sprint and disappeared around the corner. Whitley, who'd managed to snag the pizzas in midair, waited as Krysta stepped forward, helping the dazed young man to his feet. His mix of confusion and irritation immediately dissipated at the sight of a handful of cash and Krysta's cleavage dialed up to eleven.

"I am sorry about that. She had a personal emergency." Krysta explained, handing the bills to the man who happily accepted the cash.

"No problem at all! You two ladies have a nice day." He considered letting his eyes take a second course of the visual feast, but the looming giantess glaring at him from the doorway made him reconsider. He tipped his cap and took one final glance at the two women as he walked back to his car.

"How much did you tip him?"

"Forty percent. He took quite the hit. I am impressed he recovered so quickly."

Whitley scoffed, already with a slice in hand. "Come on, that little cleavage bonanza you gave him was worth that alone."

"Honestly, I think it is the only thing keeping them from blacklisting us."

"Wait, has this happened before?"

"You have no idea..." Krysta opened her mouth to continue, but reconsidered, shaking her head. "No, we will save that for another day. Hand me a cheese or veggie slice?"

"Sorry," Whitley said, her mouth full. "We got Meat Lovers', pepperoni, and seafood supreme."

"Ugh, and I was just starting to like you."