"No freaking way."
"Yes, freaking way," Krysta replied, unloading the dishwasher while Whitley sat at the table polishing off a pint of matcha-flavored frozen yogurt. Alicia's muffled high-pitched chattering wafted up from the basement where she'd been since finishing dinner. "Percy is my ex. We dated for a year or so, not long after I first got into town."
"Is this a sore subject? Seriously, tell me if it is because , if not, I've got plenty of follow-up questions. More than anything, I'm intrigued by anyone who'd be the common fuck between the two of you."
"It is not a big deal," Krysta said re-boxing the crockpot and handing it to Whitley, who looked back at her incredulously. Krysta gestured with her chin to the top row of cabinets above the stove near the ceiling, and Whitley obliged with an exaggerated sigh. "Thank you, tall girl, for helping us save shelf and counter space."
"No sweat, Asian chick with the boobs." Whitley slid the box into one of the cabinets, scowling at the cobwebs inside. "Now, back to you and Alicia's love triangle."
"Hardly a love triangle. Percy and I had already broken up and I actually recommended him to Alicia...as a photographer, mind you." Krysta pulled a bottle of red wine from the wine rack with one hand, grabbed a wine glass and corkscrew with the other, and headed to the living room. Whitley snagged another frozen yogurt from the freezer and followed after.
"It's tacky enough to start dating your roommate's ex. It's a whole other thing to fuck him in the same bed your roommate uses for her topless internet webcam shows." Whitley had to take a moment to ponder what she'd said out loud, before nodding with affirmation.
"I do not hold Alicia to the same behavioral standard as normal people in terms of words or actions." Krysta opened her wine and poured herself a full glass. "She is quirky and tactless, sure, but at the end of the day, she does not have a mean-spirited bone in her musclebound body."
"What about him?" Whitley waited for a response, but Krysta only forced a chuckle and sipped her wine. "Now I'm really curious to meet him."
"Sure, maybe he will go for the size fetish trifecta."
"From what I overheard today, he's doing something right. Either that or Alicia only has one speed."
"I have never heard her, actually. I am almost ashamed to ask, but what does she sound like?"
"It's like her laugh, never the same. When I heard her yesterday—giving it to herself, apparently—I thought I was listening to anime porn."
"Hentai."
"Noted. So, the second time she literally laughed throughout, as if she were doing whippets while riding a Sybian chair." Krysta snorted, choking on her wine as she erupted in laughter, and Whitley joined in. They laughed until Krysta finally re-settled herself, taking a moment to dab wine off her cleavage.
"Well, good for her. Percy was the last person I slept with and it was at least a couple years ago. Otherwise, I am too busy to bother with it. Not worth the baggage. What about you?"
"I haven't had a boyfriend since high school. I dated a 6'3 receiver on the football team who was only five inches shorter than me at the time. He ended up being both my first time and my last boyfriend. Once I joined the world of NCAA Division I sports, it was a series of on-the-road flings, culminating with an epic night at the ESPYs two summers ago."
"The ESPYs?"
"The Grammys of sports. It was my second straight year losing Female Collegiate Athlete of the Year. I boozed pretty hard afterward and nearly got into a fistfight with Hope Solo. I ended up scoring a consolation lay with a San Antonio Spur who, sadly, was not Kawhi Leonard."
"Who was it?"
"I honestly was too stupid drunk to remember or care. He was black and shorter than me which doesn't narrow it down much."
"No matter. I do not follow sports anyways."
"Good, because I'm not particularly proud of it. He told me I was his fourth choice after Maria Sharapova, Rhonda Rousey, and Michelle Wie. Not bad company, mind you, but hardly something you say to put a girl in the mood. Afterward, he crawled to my bathroom, puked, and fell asleep in the tub. I left him there when I checked out in the morning. Haven't had sex since."
"Do you want to?"
"Sure, but it's awkward being a seven-foot woman on the prowl. Don't get me wrong, I've gotten some enthusiastic bedfellows, but it often feels like they're not fucking me, as much as they're fucking—"
"—your height, with you along for the ride. Believe me, I have been there. It is easy to tell because nine times out of ten—"
"—they're so enthusiastic they're done before you begin." Whitley swallowed a large spoonful of frozen yogurt. "It's enough to almost make me jump ship to women."
Krysta raised an eyebrow. "Have you batted for the other team?"
"Not successfully. Earlier that night I struck out with Elena Delle Donne. She's gorgeous and, apparently, taken."
"Do not let Alicia hear you. She will get jealous."
Whitley rolled her eyes. "Ugh, that girl. Does she have a crush on me, or does she have a size fetish too?"
"Neither. I figure she just does not have a filter. Speaking of which..." Both heard Alicia's footsteps and the squeaky basement door. Alicia sauntered in and dropped a check on the table.
"Here's the rent for next month so I don't have to worry about it. It's early, but I decided to take care of it now before I spend it."
Krysta was awestruck. "You have not paid rent on time as long as you have lived here!"
"Technically it's not 'on time' since—"
"—it is nearly three weeks early." Krysta examined the check as if she expected it to dissolve at any moment. "What brought this on?"
"I finished a project." Whitley and Krysta both waited for what they expected would be a long-winded and excruciatingly detailed explanation, but none came. "Anyways, I'm overdue for an anime date with a box of Pocky. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Whitley, jog?"
"Sure," Whitley replied without thinking.
"Sounds like a plan. Oyasuminasai!" Alicia bounded up the stairs to her room, leaving her roommates sitting in silent bewilderment. Krysta managed to shake herself out of her shock.
"Okay, that was weird. Not only did she pay her rent a month earlier than normal, she mentioned a project without giving us any details. I did not know she was even capable of restraint."
Whitley scraped the bottom of her nearly empty yogurt container. "I figure she killed someone and collected the bounty."
Krysta rose to her feet. "Either way, I am thrilled and I will not ask questions. If the police come looking for her, I will point them towards the basement." She poured another glass of wine and re-corked the bottle. "In the meantime, I have my Southeast Asia webcam show tomorrow morning which, FYI, I intend to do while you two are out jogging." She grabbed the wine and started towards the kitchen before turning around and offering the bottle to Whitley. "Would you like some?"
"Nah, I'm cool. I'll probably head to bed soon too." Whitley waved her phone at Krysta. " Gotta' send a few texts and finish my dessert first."
"All right. Good night, Whitley."
"Night." Whitley listened for the sound of Krysta's door before laying back in her favorite chair and pulling her vape pen out of her pocket. She took another draw and tapped the Instagram icon on her phone.
So many secrets around this place.